Domestic Violence

Sometimes children and young people who live with domestic violence can experience the following: 

• Fear and helplessness, guilt or shame, isolation
• Blaming the abuser or trying to stop them
• Blaming the victim for not leaving or not standing up to the abuser
• Getting hurt from trying to intervene
• Stress from trying to protect brothers and sisters
• Not wanting to bring friends home
• Trying to get help for the victim
• Wishing someone would help or wishing everyone would stop interfering
• Getting involved in police or social services proceedings
• Throwing self into school, college or work
• Missing school or college, staying at home to protect the victim 

If you are living with domestic violence, remember the abuser is completely responsible for the violence - you, your brothers and sisters, and the parent being abused are not to blame.

Please remember that if you are abused as a child this definitely doesn't mean that you are going to end up in a violent or abusive relationship yourself.  Some research seems to show the opposite.
 
Seeing what their parent went through means some people know what the effects are first-hand and never want to put anyone else through this. Others have found that through seeing the bad side of relationships they have learnt what to look out for. If you have any worries about this, you may want to talk to a friend, relative or counsellor.  

• CBBC
• Childline (telephone 0800 1111) Childline is a confidential service for children and young people. It is open 24 hours a day, seven days a week.  Calls are free and will not appear on the phone bill. 
• Onion Street
• The Hideout is the first national website to support children and young people living with domestic violence, or to those who may want to help a friend.  The site informs children and young people about domestic violence and helps them identify whether it is happening in their home.
• NSPCC have a helpline and a website for young people that offers advice on who to turn to for help if you are worried and need to talk.  Visit the website or call 0808 800 5000 (a freephone number available 24 hours a day).

If someone you know is experiencing domestic violence

If you think a friend or family member is experiencing domestic violence, there are things you can do to help. It can be hard to know the right things to say or do to help someone you know. Useful support and advice is available from the following national helpline and organisations:

• National Domestic Violence Helpline (Telephone 0808 2000 247)
• Women's Aid
• Refuge